After a crazy contest – with hundreds of submissions – Molly Ringworm was chosen as THE band name winner to be included in Crit, Andrew Kiraly’s debut novel. If you missed any of the other entrants, read on!
Submitted by Robert Nelson
Make it Stop! STFU, Potty in Tecate, DNA Oyster, the Opposable Thumbs, Assache, the Reluctant Bonerz, Hammerface, the Hair Shirts, Hoppin’ Conrad, Lucy Lips & the Sunken Ships, Scröt, Reacharound, Saratoga (or Sara’s Toga), Short Stack, Thumb Lover, Johnny Aces & the Head Cases, The Black Bananas, Gordian Nosh, Bugsy Seagull and the Wharf Whackers, One-Eyed Krait, Projectile Grommet, Lyvwell Dynasty, Sorry Howard Hughes, Oscar and the Mob, Midnight Tinkle, T-Ball and the Long Form Certificate, Cross-Dressed Chickens, Amiable Bonerific, Buxom Hellride, Chronic Boogers, Death to my Hose, Early Turd, Fallactica, Gore Angle Math Finger, Horse Hag, Igloo Stink Line, Jolt Nod and Hosanna, Krycycle, Lemon Ape Nuts, Marconi Tightwad Bulletin, Nary Cherries, Older Slower Colder, Princess Jackass, Quick hide the Pot, Russell Stoner, Satchel of Iridium, Tounge Depression Mania, Umlaut Shortage, Valhalla Laundromat, Waiting for Hello Kitty, Xenotypical Theater, Yen for Grable, “”Zoiks”"”, Lesbian Tupperware Party, Hate the Bunion, Afraid of Clowns the cock goblins, Misters Roboto, Yucky Bird, The Flint and the Flame, Carnie Phillips Screwdriver, Girth Brooks, Rashmaster, Rat Plastic, Douche Nozzle 3000 (or DN3K), The Mamas and the Mamas, Boba Feta, The Foo Lovers, Snozzle, Jew-Fro, The Nice White Babies, Flowjob (hip hop), the Get Right, Bingo Starr, Large Hardon Collider, Gang Grape, Fisted Sister, The Fondlers, The Douchetones, Wookieefoot, Yuri Nation, Clownpocket JFKFC, OLIVIA FIG NEWTON, JOHN WAYNE PACE CAR, ITCHY BUTT STINKY FINGER, VAGINAL BLOOD FART, Bullfrog and the Frogettes, Latch-key abstinence, Door Number Three, Janky White Lincoln, Wholes, Zhuangzi’s Dream, Jonny Pump and the Hydrants, Kupcake Kingz, Empty Locket, Thirdwarning, Medicated, Selfhelp, Dancing Gumshoes, Offensive Noise, Scuzzy Slippers, Wally and the Weasels, Roach, The Banana Bandana’s, Toilet of Chaos, Secret Asian Man, The Nutcrackers, Sloppy Chocolate Starfish, Fungal Fetus, Vladiqueer the Impaler, The Fairy Queens, Scabies, Blowphish, Nerdy Prom Date, Virtual Virgins, The Syphillians, Turn That Shit Down!, Scumsucking Maggots, Blank Verse Rap, Iambic Pentameter, An Heroic Couplet, Otatory Irritatation, Wheelchair Assassins, Bipolar Weather Station, Your Mom, Cum Dumpster, Sparky and the Plug-U’s, Hurling Chunks, Festering Colon, Rabid Snarling, Goat Popers, Chronic Pain, Suc-bloods, Mourning Wood, Ayn Rand’s Disco, Righteous Procrastination, Fukushima Kids, Guns ‘n’ Daisies “Chamber of Fumes, Band of Fury, Bloodborne Pathogens, Bleeder, Papercut, The Shredders, Grumble, The Meat Eaters, Herbivores, Carnivores, The Lion of Blood, Buffalo Bob, The Loafers, River Monsters, Eat My Head Off, Spittle, Pythons, Snakehead, Fomenters of Insurrection. The Hobo Signal Resurrection, Jank-Ass Moustache, Moyster, These Three Cords Are The Future, Hipster Sideburn Rebellion, Narwhal’s Lonley Bone, Goat Ass, Guillermo & His Sexual Chocolate, Full Body Meat Press, Bollocks & Co. (feat. Akon), The This, J.C. & His Previous Landlord, the poon schooners, Nebraska Abe & His Aggrevated Cornhole Band, Sexual Savants, Hitler’s Sister, Hypewriter, Nuttdust, Anger Bitch, Bleeding Stripper, SIT ON DOG, Stab the Devil With a Fork, Cream And Bastards, Payback’s a Bitch, Many Holes In the Desert, Bunnies From Hell, Flaming Bastards, Lo, the Incubus, Guilty By Association, The Amber Alerts, Kiss Your Sister, SKEPTIC-TANK!, Queer Jesus and the Insurrection, Yucca Luck Train, Glitter Newton, Atomic Asphalt, Chuckwalla Wine, Leather Feather, Fremont Zippers, Dummy Up and Squeal, Megabucks Chuck, Royal Crush, Neon Circus, Stranger Danger!!, Boulder Highway Beauty, Big League Jew, Obamarama, Destroyable Planet, Behind Over Splatter, Vampire Tea Bag, The Supersuckies, Mantallica, Oh, the Places You’ll Go to the Bathroom!. Ham Grenade, A Fistful of Dildos (bonus album title: For a Few Dildos More), Jesus Chrystler, Navy in the 80s, Kitty Wampus & The Mollywops, Leopard Boy and the Decepticons, The Nun Chuckers, Angry Barbers, JANE DOE and the BODY BAGS, AFTERBIRTH, ABORTION EATERS, POPE PETER and the PEDOPHILES, SISTER MARY JANE and the SACKS, AUNT BEA and the CHILD BEATERS, Tender Trap, Shadowbox, Moby Grape Troubadour, Sharks Local, Fuddy Duddys, Pussycat, Port/Starboard Tack, Eli and Wongs, Alieas Smith and Jones, THE BAND MAME IS GODBROS, Tomorrow’s Knights, Cunning Stunts (girl group), Nuthin’ Sirius, PH Negative, Hookahstodians, Rites Tough, Timpan Ally (or Alley), Chemo Savvy, The Telekanesianz, Cult-sure Class, Behind Your Eyes, “The Unforgivin’ Family”, Anthony Michael Alcoholic, Journey to the Center of Judd Nelson’s Nostrils, Sheedy Chin, Molly Ringwraith, M.F. Estevez, Panda Punch, Miley Cyrus is Ugly, People!, Buy One, Get One Freebird, Moby Rape, Red Cock Resort, Smallpox Slim & the Confederate Blankets, Cornpone Pete & the Fly-over States, Baby Batter & the Wooden Spoon Lickers, Genesis Before Collins, Shakespeare’ Best Bed, Beard Crabs of Darwin, Mullet Toss, Craigslist Killers, JewTube, Hanoi Socks, Slower, arthritic pussycat! Chill! Chill!, Statue of Criterty, Harry’s Armpits have Herpes, Stony Henge Quintent, Lemmings Gone Wild The Clark Kent Five, Mainstream Burritos, Tweet Birdie, Sexy Moe Foes, Mellifluous Mayhem, Somali Pirates, Fat Shits in Tapout Shirts, 10% Juicy Pants, Cocoa Before Puffs, Cap’n Crunch’s Mandolin, Bacon/Overrated, Chinese Batman, The Incredible Sri Lankan Hulk, Soylent Sweetbreads, The Ghost of the Arm of the Drummer of Def Leppard, GodzillaZombieFrankenstien, Stupid Plastic Guitars with Stupid Plastic Buttons, Vegan Nugent, Apocalypse Figs, Bridemaids’ Protocol, Airheads of State, Sheen Dealer, PinkEye PillowCase, Shit Magnet, VirginHomos, Abbottaband, Senokot, Dark Master, Velvet Falernum, Bogus and the Hoaxes, Super Awesome Stellar, Lack Jemmon, Bamboozled!, Palsy Pebbles and the Retarded Stones, Douche Nuzzle, The Mamas and the Mamas, WHOMPUS, Teddybear Tragedy, Blahdy McBlahBlah, Booty and the But Lickers, Castrating Bums, Balls of Rank, Chimney Fish, Flash Purpose, Jerking with Jesus, Molly Ringworm, Shiftless Priest-Worker, Swallow, Priest-Worker, King Lizzard’s Rubber Turd Rejects, Living Karma, King Lizzard’s Hearts of Darkness Band, Two Jerks and a Squirt, Battle-axe, The Boils, Before Night Falls!, Bucket O’ Blood, Atomic Tendencies, The Decaying Truth, The Panty Ho’s, “What’s That Smell?”, Arbitrary Boldness, PLAYIN’ 4 PIZZA, Stelagdyke, Uranial, Cunt Thrust, Carried by 6, Shoots n Ladders, THROWT, Fyst, Dixie Wrecked and the wall shotzz, The Douche of Earl, Ladyparts, Inseam Trickledown, The Dyke Fingering Dutchmen, Slimy Tarpaper, F U Good Men, Fluffy Kitten Sledgehammer, Creepy Winker, Parasitic Head, Family Jules, Canon Father, Pharma Sharps, Pa de Douche, Manhood Ruler, Full Service Blonde, The Big Time Sell-Outs, Children’s Strength Heroin, Cuddly Razorblade, Red Lipstick Smear On My Taint, Set of all Sets, I Read Ulysses, The Screaming Tantrum, Underground Jungle Golf, Creepy Uncle, Statutory Rap, $¥∑ß♂£∫ (the artist formerly known as “Symbols”), Chicken Parm, Anti-Universe, Aggressive Scat, Craptastic, Narcissister, Preserve Cicero, All That Cremains, Carpet Diem, Fluffer, Alpha Mail Room, Gits Gone Wild, Breast Fishes, Vicar in the Front, Polka in the Rear, Hold Your Piece, Mondegreen Acres, Tasty Morsel, Never Mind the Bolsheviks, Jukebox Jackpot, Neil and Ben Dover, Bag of Hammers, Aural Gratification, Throttle Service, Vertical Smile, Nuclear Wastebasket, Beer Goggles, All-Access Pass, Moose Knuckle, Alcohole, Donkey Shin, Sick Shitty, Artistic License, Atomic Testing Muse, Blabba, Top O’ the Socks, Shock & Awe, Cuts Like a Fart, You Pay, We Play, The Specialtons, Stupornova, Undercover Angels, Dancy Pants, Anthony Baskin Robbins, Samsonite & Delight-Ya, Marilyn Mirage, Cybelvis Monroe, WhaleRollers, B2Dooo, The MackJack’s, Blue Lite Specialists
Posted by carolynhayesuber
